I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
