Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize