If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
