I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
