I want to walk on stilts...naked
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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