In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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