yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
