haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
