____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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