DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
