I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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