I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
