ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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