I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
