The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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