I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
