I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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