I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
We named our party play list daddy issues
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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