We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
