Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
