I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
