funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
