The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
