Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
