I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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