Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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