He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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