Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Randomize
