what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
