U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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