So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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