Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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