what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Randomize
