I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
