apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
vagina is talking i cant
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize