We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
