I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
