i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize