Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
