this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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