I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
