Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Randomize
