the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
