i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
