I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
