This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
