I wish I could punch you in the face.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
