halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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