btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
whose parrot is this?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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