I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
