I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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