She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
