I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
