I hate your face
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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