Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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