Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I faked an abortion last night.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
