I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm at about main and main street
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
