Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
