Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
