well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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