No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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