Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
