Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
