Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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