He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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