I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
