I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
