Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
