I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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